FLOOR 21: Judgement (The Tower Legacy Book 3) Read online

  After weeks of this, I’ve learned to ignore a lot pain, so I’m the first one off the ground. There’s instantly a rifle in my hand, and I’m walking down the bridge as the dust clears, firing off single rounds and listening to bullets whiz past my head. The thing is, these Cultists are terrible shots. They have an advantage when they’ve got the numbers, but get them disorganized and they fall apart. As far as I understand it, a lot of them used to be former Security or civvies, so they never got the training we got. It’s one reason Commander Abbott felt confident marching straight down at them, firing his gun off. I guess I’m at that same point, or maybe I’m just really pissed off, because every time I see someone pop back up over their side of the railway, I’ve got them hitting the ground. Then my team’s backing me up, and soon I’m turning the corner on the enemy’s side and laying into what’s left of them with my rifle.

  Which, of course, is when, out of nowhere, a hand rips through the wall next to me. It explodes out with so much force that huge pieces of concrete go flying, and the next thing I know, I’m getting thrown back down the bridge. I’m literally spinning cartwheels until I roll back onto my feet, but I’ve barely got five seconds before a hulking Creeper is charging at me. The Cultists have some control over these things, thanks to the tech David Marshall came up with, and apparently this was their trump card because this one’s just rushing at me. The team stops firing, and I get why. I’m right up in the face of this Creeper, and it would take just one stray bullet to put me down. So, for a second, I think about backing off the bridge, and I can see the team working up the walkway so they can come help. But, I don’t know, I feel this surge in me, like my heart starts pumping ten times faster.

  This creature swings at me, and I get under its arm. I spin around to its other side as it tries to backhand me, and again I get out of the way. Its arm just goes in a wild circle past me, and before it can swing again, my bat’s coming up from my hip. This thing’s screaming at me as it sees my weapon taking a long curve, and the next thing it feels is the tip of the bat cracking its skull. The Creeper goes staggering sideways, and before it can get its footing, I side kick it so hard that it goes flying over the edge of the railing. It happens so quick that I almost don’t believe it, and it’s still screaming when I take a knee to try and catch my breath. The thing is, I never get the chance because I instantly hear Tommy shouting. I have to force myself back up, even though I’m having trouble sucking down air, and instantly I shoot back over to the team. Dodger and Mike are already around Tommy, and . . . and damn if Dodger’s arm doesn’t need someone to put a bandage around it, but she’s so concerned about Tommy that she won’t bother to take care of herself.

  So, I dive in and start ripping off his shirt. The last time Tommy got shot, it was just a flesh wound. This one’s not much better or worse, depending on your definition. Kid took it right to the chest, and I can see what’s left of the flattened bullet as it falls to the floor. It probably destroyed the plate inside the vest, but at least Tommy’s alive. “You’re fine, you big dummy,” I tell him as I unstrap his gear. He’s literally screaming at me.

  “Got dangit, Jackie, then why does it hurt so much?”

  “Uh, probably because the plate in your armor caved backward into your chest. You remember what happened to me when I got shot, Tommy. The worst you’ll have is a really amazing bruise for a while.”

  We end up getting his jacket off, and then I have time to wrap up Dodger. Her and Tommy are both in a lot of pain, even if they’ll both be okay. Mike’s just . . . He’s holding it together, but he’s already blaming himself for Tommy and Dodger getting shot. That’s just what he does. He never thinks he’s helping enough, and nothing I ever say changes that. I talk to him the whole way down the hall, and he just keep repeating how he needs to be better, be stronger. The whole time, I’m feeling this growing fire that’s burning up through my legs and arms, like it’s searing right into my muscles. The pain’s intense enough that it’s hard to breathe, and I actually feel lightheaded. But, I mean, I don’t say anything. What would I say? Who would I complain to? Tommy’s got a bruise the size of the Tower spreading in his chest, and Dodger’s had her arm shot through. Mike’s on the verge of losing it. He needs me. They all need me.

  That’s what I keep reminding myself as Mike keeps talking, but honestly, the words are barely registering. It’s like they’re just droning through my ears. I keep wishing I could pay more attention, but I’m already forcing my feet to keep marching, and the whole time, I’m biting my lip because my hip feels like it actually wants to explode.

  It just. Never. Ends.

  When we do find a room far away enough that I feel we’re safe, I immediately have this wave of exhaustion that slams into me all at once. Suddenly, I just feel like I don’t have anything left in the tank, not physically and not emotionally. So, the second everyone’s settling down, I ask them if it’s okay if I take five. Of course, they all agree. They don’t say anything, but I know they’re wondering about me as I go into the rear bedroom. After a second of looking for the door, I seal myself away in the bathroom. The power’s running down here, at least enough to keep the lights on, so for a long time, I just stand there. I keep staring into this dreary, stained mirror, looking at the cuts on my face and all the bruises just under my skin. I just stare at myself.

  And then I slide to the floor and start to cry.

  I don’t know how long I’m there. It’s just quiet at first, you know? Like, I feel like I’m choking. Every time I try to exhale, it feels like the air’s caught in my chest, so it’s impossible to make any noise. I can feel this hot, warm stream running from my eyes as I settle back against the wall, then I bury my head in my hands and lean forward, until I can feel my knees pushing against my temples. I just sit there, watching drops soak the floor, and then I look up and . . . I just wail. Maybe I just can’t hold it back anymore. Maybe I just need to scream. Whatever it is, I just keep hoping they don’t hear me outside. Hear me snapping. I’m supposed to be strong for them, and I’m the one that can’t keep it together.

  When I hear the door clicking open, I jump back onto my feet and try to turn away. I don’t know what I’m expecting, who I’m expecting, but it’s Tommy there. And he doesn’t say anything at first, you know? He just closes the door behind him. Then he stands there, for a long time, just waiting. Maybe he wants me to say something, but . . . I can’t. Every time I try to find words, I feel like I’m going to choke. So, he just asks me, “Jackie. You feeling okay?”

  I want to answer him. I mean, I feel like I need to say something. I’m supposed say something. That’s what humans do, right? That’s how it’s supposed to go with normal friendships? That’s what I’ve been told, anyway. I look back at him, and even as hard as I’ve been trying to hold it back, I’m still crying. It feels like I’m sucking wind, like I just gotten done running a race and my chest wants to explode. I’m standing there with my hands shaking, just wanting to scream, not at him, not at David Marshall, just . . . I don’t know at what or who, but my fist flies from my hip and into the mirror, shattering it into a web of cracks. When I pull my hand back, I’m looking at a hundred reflections of myself that stare back from this bloody surface, and I just fall back and slam against the wall. Tommy’s already holding me as I slide to the ground again, and I can feel my tears mixing with the blood in my fingertips. I just . . . I cry. “I can’t do it, Tommy. I can’t. I can’t.”

  “Can’t do what, Jackie? What’s wrong?”

  “Can’t keep everyone safe. Can’t get us out of here. I keep trying to make sure everyone’s okay, but I can’t . . . I can’t make it happen. I can’t promise anything . . .”

  He’s right in my ear, holding me against him. “It’s okay, Jackie. Hey. Hey. We don’t need you to keep us safe. We’re here because we want to be. We knew the risks. We knew what we were getting into.”

  “Why are we doing this? What’s even the point?”

  “Ground, Jackie! You k
now that. Getting out of this place and finding a new home.”

  “Tommy, we don’t even know how deep the Tower goes. It could be a thousand floors and we wouldn’t know. We don’t even know if there is a ground . . .”

  “Jackie, the Tower is standing on something. There’s ground somewhere, and you’re going to get us there, but you’ve got to stop acting like you’re doing it alone. You can’t keep thinking that it’s all on your shoulders. We’re not just here for you, as much as I love you, champ. All of us have friends and family we’re thinking about. So, you’ve got to stop putting all this on just you. I mean, yeah, you inspired us to follow you, but we’ve got other people we want to save too. I mean . . . Damn, I’d give my arm if I could make a better life for Dodger. You know that. I’m fighting for her. She’s fighting for her family. We’re all fighting for the same reason, Jackie: to save people we care about. We just didn’t realize what was possible until you came along. I know you feel like you have to protect us, but we’re here to protect the people we love. So, stop feeling like you’re the only one that’s got people to fight for. We’re in this together, as a team. We’re all a bunch of crazies that don’t do well on the upper floors, but we’re pretty good when we work with each other.”

  “I know everyone’s got family. You’re my responsibility though, Tommy. No one else’s. And I have to see you, every single day. Do you know how much that kills me? If anything happens to you, it’s my fault, because I’m the one . . . I’m the one that David Marshall’s after.”

  “Yeah, well, you don’t have to face him alone. The same way you’ve got our backs, we’ve got yours. We’ll handle him when the time comes, so stop worrying so much. We’re not bad ourselves. Believe me, we can hold our own.”

  “And if I lose one of you? What then? What’s the point of fighting if I lose you?”

  “Then you do the same thing Commander Abbott did when he lost one of his people: collect our stuff, say some words, and then remember us. What you don’t do is give up. That would make what we did pointless. If you really care about us, then you keep going, Jackie. You keep fighting for us, because we still have family and friends that need saving. Hey, I don’t want to die for nothing. If we’ve got to sacrifice, that’s fine if it means we make a difference in the Tower, because that gives the people back home a chance at something better. The worst thing you could do? Give up. Then what was the point of all this?”

  “It’s just getting so hard thinking I’m going to be responsible for one of you dying. Every time we get in a fight, it’s in the back of my head, and with Mike freaking out all the time, he’s just one bad day away from bringing the whole Tower down. I’m the one who has to keep him under control, Tommy. Every day, when I’m already feeling like my body wants to fall apart, I still have to wonder if I’ll be able to keep him from losing it.”

  “Hey. You will. You always do. But, listen, I’ve been thinking about that too. Okay? I’m not stupid. I know he’s not doing well, and I’ve got to take some responsibility for that. I mean, I’ve got to pull my weight around here somehow, so I’ll try and do a better job of talking to him. I owe him that.”

  “He doesn’t want to talk to anyone else though. He’s so wrapped up in this idea that he’s responsible for his team dying, that he’s scared he’s going to get you guys killed. If he’s not talking about how guilty he feels, he’s talking about how worried he is that one of us is going to get hurt.”

  “Sounds like his problems are a little like yours.”

  That gets me to stop, and for a second, I’m just sitting there with his arms wrapped around me. I used to hate being touched. I think I still do, but with Tommy . . . It feels okay. I pull up and look back around at him. “I guess misery loves company.”

  “Yeah. You two hanging out being awful together isn’t going to help you keep your head on straight. It’s not like any of us can survive down here alone. If you’re telling him he needs to stop being hard on himself, then you’ve got to take your own advice.” He sighs. “I know it’s a little different, but you’ve got to think about the ways you inspire the team. Stop focusing on what could go wrong. You do a lot for us, Jackie. If you’re not saving our butts, then you’re keeping our heads on straight. I wish I knew how you keep doing it. Half the time, I don’t even know why you’d want this raggedy group tagging along with you. The way you fight, you could probably leave us all behind and still get to the ground faster than with us trailing you.”

  I don’t answer him at first. I know the answer. As bad as things were when I got older, I always remember the dad and mom I had when I was a kid. I remember the first day dad slapped a baseball cap on my head. I remember cooking with mom. I remember dad always going out and giving food to people that he’d rather have kept for himself. I never knew how desperate the situation was in the Tower back then, so I’d just ask him why he kept giving our stuff away. I just remember him saying, “Because it’s the right thing to do.” All mom and dad ever cared about was helping people. Well, I’m doing what I think is right. I’m protecting the first people I’ve cared about in forever.

  I don’t tell Tommy any of that. But, I mean, I’m looking at this guy I’ve known for years. When we were kids, he was my personal tormentor. I hated him almost as long as I knew him. Just, since training, since coming down here, he’s been my best friend. He’s been the person I’ve been able to lean on whenever I’ve been frustrated, and I just . . . I couldn’t have ever imagined that when I was a kid. “Can I tell you something?”

  “What? Yeah, sure. I thought we had a standing agreement that we could tell each other anything if we needed to.”

  “Yeah. I know. Still had to ask.”

  “So, what’s the deal?”

  “It’s just that I really appreciate you being here, Tommy.”

  “Oh, shut up. It’s not that big a deal.”

  “No. It is. You were the first person I considered a friend in a decade, besides Allison. You were the first person I thought I could trust in something like ten years.”

  “Jackie . . .”

  “If something happened to me, you’d have to keep the team going, okay? You’d be the only one who could do it.”

  “Stop talking like that. You’re going to get us out of here.”

  “I know we say that, but just in case, if something does happen, you have to get everyone to the ground. You’re the best shot in the group, and even if you have some problems with being in tight spaces, you keep it together pretty well. Plus, I reluctantly admit that you’re stronger than me. Physically.”

  “Yeah, you say that, but I’ve never kicked anyone over the side of a bridge. I got to say, that’s pretty impressive.”

  “Just instincts.”

  He laughs. “Your instincts can be pretty vicious, but it was your muscles that kicked a three-hundred-pound Creeper over a railing. Then you’re here crying like you’ve got anything to worry about.”

  I smile, because he always finds a way to make me smile. “Thanks, Tommy.”

  Jackie’s Recording 16

  I’ve said before that I still see Sally, even if David Marshall made it seem like I’ve forgotten about her. I haven’t. This isn’t metaphorical or whatever. It’s not me crying about seeing her when I try to go to sleep, or being haunted about killing her. Don’t get me wrong, because all of that’s still true. I’m the only person who heard her last word, and it literally feels like just yesterday that she was rampaging through the Tower. It was the first time I’d ever seen Commander Abbott’s flame sword put to use, and between him and Sally, there was so much damage that the whole hall became unstable. By the time everything gave way and we fell through to the lower floor, the place had become an inferno. Everything was smoke and fire. Even right now, I can see her lying there on the ground, right after I jabbed her full of the poison that killed her. It’s not the sort of thing you forget. I can’t, anyway.

  But I don’t just see her in my memories. I still see her. Her. Not a memo
ry and not some dream. It’s her. It started happening after we dropped below Floor 21, when we first started our search for Mike and his missing team. I was still getting used to walking around in the Deep Creep, which meant having to deal with hallucinations. I’d seen Demons—the shadow men—before, just never like what I was seeing down there. In the Deep, they were so much more real than I’d ever seen. It was like watching living shadows just prying themselves off the walls, and the scary part was that they were coming for me. I can still remember the touch of their cold fingers and the feeling that ice was flowing through my veins. It almost made me pass out.

  It was the same time I started seeing the shadow eyed man. The voice in the darkness. He wasn’t a Demon, and he didn’t seem to hate me. I don’t know, it was more like he was . . . curious, I guess? He kept talking about how he wanted to find out what Angels were. At first, I thought he was in control of the Creep, like he was the one attacking us. I’m not so sure about that anymore. He might be a part of the Creep or the Tower somehow, but I don’t think so. He’s something else, and I really just think he wants to know more about the world. He said he’d be following me, but I haven’t seen him since we said our goodbyes to Commander Abbott and Commander Vick.

  So, I’m not really worried about him. I’m not even that concerned about the Demons anymore, really. They only start showing up when you’re super scared or anxious about something. The more agitated the Creep gets, the more likely you’ll see the shadow men walking around and acting like they can see you, too. I’m just not seeing them much. Maybe it’s because we’ve been down here so long, but the Creep’s bothered me less and less. Still, the thing is, even if I’m used to the Demons and dealing with the Creep, if there’s one thing that bothers me, it’s just that I . . .